While on a crowded elevator inside Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas NV the Captain noticed something very intriguing.

Some dude was standing there with one of  his t-shirt sleeves rolled up to show off the fresh ink on his upper arm.  Cool!  Tattoos can be pretty sweet, the only problem was that this tattoo read “Bone Collector,” and was written in a blue and red font that could easily be called ‘Lightning Bolt.”

Three possible reasons that this man chose this tattoo are: A. This man’s vocation requires him to gather the hard connective tissue forming the substance of the skeleton of most vertebrates.  B. This man is a huge fan of the Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie movie that came out in 1999? or  C. He just some super gay guy that got drunk and wanted to show the pride he has in his collection of the proverbial bone possessed by the human male?

If you guessed C…you are correct!

The Captain and his friend also chose the option C, and kept stealing glances at the tattoo and back to eachother while both thinking to ourselves…”is this for real? Does that dude really have a fresh tattoo on his arm that reads ‘Bone Collector’!?!?!?” Suddenly, our question was answered when the The Bone Collector himself failed to show any elevator courtesy and shouted to his friends, in an accent that could only be described as San Franciscan, “You fuckin’ bitches, I can’t believe you let me get the gayest tattoo ever…It fucking says ‘Bone Collector’ on my arm!”  It was at this instant that the people in the tightly packed space united in a chorus of delightful laughter.  Apparently, the Captain and his buddy were not the only ones silently judging this man and  commenting on his choice of the decoration on his deltoid.  I guess the crowd agreed…The only way that this particular tattoo could be any gayer is if it were on the small of his back.

In the lobby level of the Mandalay Bay Hotel there is a tattoo parlor.  You guessed it! A terrible idea.

A gayer tattoo

How many “Bone Collector” mistakes are permanently inscribed on somebody per year? Per month? Per day?  Vegas is a place where drugs and alcohol reign supreme and wise decisions are left by wayside.  Um…anyone wanna get wasted then married?  At least a wedding can be annulled, that is of course if getting married in Vegas is not the plot point that is driving a terrible movie, e.g. “What Happens in Vegas” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1033643/. Having a tattoo parlor in in a high traffic area of inebriated morons is as about as good of an idea of having a twinkie store at a diabetes clinic…people just end up hurting themselves.

Later that day, after our run in with The Bone Collector, we went into that tattoo parlor and asked their policy on late night Tattoos.  They basically said that they were open all night and whenever someone decided to get a tattoo they could have one, as long as they signed a waiver.  When we asked about the bone collector tattoo, they remembered him vividly.  “Oh yes, he came in last night…he was so nice!  He wanted a tattoo that said “bone collector.”  We didn’t know what it was but it sounded fun.  He sat down, chose the font and the colors and everything.  It looked great.”

Um…yeah…great.