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The power of craigslist
Posted by Captain A | Posted on 29-05-2009
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/roo/1193844115.html
Here is a copy/pasted version of the entry for when this link expires in 7 days.
I live with my husband, Vincent, in our darling two-bedroom apartment. We’d like to rent the other room (17 x 20 and fully furnished, if you want). Vincent and I are committed to making this apartment a “home,” and therefore we would be looking for someone who could be friendly and engaging around the space. In this scenario, the right person is everything, which is why we’re only looking for $650 in rent, utilities included. Move-in is anytime between now and August 1st.
Your room has a built-in air conditioner, ample closet room, and a carpet Vincent and I like to keep clean. You can feel free to bring any animals you want, although we currently have none. We only ask that you don’t smoke inside.
When I said before that the right person is everything, this means you must be tolerant. You see, my husband Vincent, the love of my life, has a congenital physical defect (or ‘attribute,’ depending on how you see it) that can repulse people with closed hearts. Here’s what I mean: Vincent has a second nose. It sits directly above his “normal” nose, between his eyes, with a single nostril spanning the area between his eyebrows. Yes, you read that correctly: the second nose has only one nostril. It is vaguely in the shape of a “half” nose. To get a mental picture, use a piece of cardboard or other material to cover one half of your nose, vertically, and look in the mirror. Then pretend the half-nose you see is set near your brow.
It would be easy, and mean, for you to mock this structural anomaly, but the truth is that it’s given Vincent a heightened sense of smell. He’s become one of the best wine tasters in all of Williamsburg, and it’s likely this wouldn’t have been possible without the second nose, since smell is crucial in wine tasting. Anyway, the roommate would have to be able to deal with this defect (which I admit is visually ‘surprising’) like a true gentleman or gentlewoman. There can be no jokes made at his expense, or even signs of discomfort. We are looking for someone who can celebrate the difference, as the French say. In your reply, please indicate experiences in your life which prepare you to deal with Vincent’s second nose.
As a last bit, please be aware that you must avoid any strong odors within the apartment. Even the slightest hint of incense in your room, or a wet newspaper, will set Vincent off. Again, his sense of smell is abnormally strong. A group of scientists once measured the actual distance of his odor-detecting mechanisms, and it turned out he could smell cooking bacon up to two miles away. And that’s with no wind. There may even be a documentary, but we’re still in the discussion stages.
Okay, thank you for browsing! Please e-mail me back if you’re interested in the room. Let me know what kind of music you prefer. A passion for mountain biking is a huge plus! Yours,
-Rebecca
- Location: Williamsburg
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1193844115
