The Captain does not particularly like the UNC men’s basketball team. They did however just convincingly win a national championship and the video below is pretty cool.  It is done with time lapse photography and the camera is set above Franklin Street, the epicenter for drunk state college kids (adorned in a baby blue that should only be worn only by girls and small children) to come out, party, and burn shit.  What you can’t see are these dumb asses deciding to jump through the fires and waking up the next morning thinking “Man, I am so hungover…Oh Shit! Where did I put my eyebrows!?!?”

I am not going to spend much time talking about the Big East Tournament which was highlighted with the amazing 6 OT game won by my personal favorite the Syracuse Orange(men).  SU eventually ran out of gas and lost to Louisville after being up by 8 at the half.

However what I would like to focus on is the silver lining to the final game…after a no call, when two Louisville defenders should have been charged with battery when they committed a foul against Syracuse Forward Kristof Ongenaet, Dan Shulman (a reputible ESPN announcer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Shulman), said “Ongenaet just got raped from behind!”

“Ongenaet just got raped from behind!”

ONGENAET JUST GOT RAPED FROM BEHIND!

Shulman actually only said this once, I just wrote it three times for effect, but his choice of words was stellar.

First of all if you are on a national television broadcast you should not use the term “rape” when figuratively referring to anything at all.

Second, if you are on a national television broadcast you should not use the term “rape” when figuratively referring to anything at all.

Third, Shulman was lucky that he was not announcing a Lakers game and Kobe Bryant had committed the “rape” foul.

Fourth, Shulman was lucky that he was not announcing a Duke Lacross game.

Fifth, Shulman was lucky he was not referring to Mike Tyson.

Sixth…do you get my point?

and…

To make matters worse, the Louisville defenders were literally behind Ongenaet…so to be an acurate sports announcer Shulman was very specific to say that “Ongenaet just got raped from behind!” FROM BEHIND! His description added an extra detail to enhance the visual imagery of his phrase.  Now the viewers could produce an even sharper visual interpretation of the Oz like scene of Kristof Ongenaet getting raped by two Louisville basketball players.

AMAZING!

and for good measure…here is a video of Kristof Ongenaet getting messed up earlier in that game.  Please be aware of the sound the man filming his own tv makes when Ongenaet falls.